If you don’t figure out what you’re trying to prove now, you’ll hate yourself later

What are you trying to prove?

What are you trying to prove?

It’s a serious question you have to ask yourself from time to time. You do everything for a reason and perhaps you can discover the reason by asking yourself, “What am I trying to prove?”

There seem to be at least two sides to this question.

The first and more obvious side has to do with what other people think of you.

Are you dressing a certain way because you think others will admire you for being so fashion savvy? Did you buy a big house to show the world you had finally “arrived”? Did you buy that car you can’t afford in order to keep up with the Joneses?

And it’s not just about material goods. Think about why you gossip, judge, criticize, and blame people. What are you trying to prove?

Much of the time you’re trying to make yourself feel better about yourself—not by improving yourself but by knocking other people down. We all do it. The real problem is you can get in the habit of doing it so much that you start believing it and end up stuck, stalled, and miserable.

The second and less obvious side of the question is just as powerful but perhaps one we think about less frequently. It has to do with why you are limiting the possibilities in your life.

What are you trying to prove by convincing yourself you can’t make more money than you do right now? What are you trying to prove to yourself when you believe you can’t have the kinds of relationships you long for? What are you trying to prove by believing your life cannot be any better than it is right now?

Many years ago, I believed I could never make more than $30,000 a year…until I started making $50,000 a year. But my mindset—my belief—that I couldn’t make a lot of money stayed with me, and I quickly fell back into my old thought patterns. I came to believe that I couldn’t make more than $50,000 a year…until a company started paying me $100,000 a year.

Many years ago, I believed I could never have a wonderful relationship with the woman of my dreams. My mindset—my belief—wouldn’t allow me to entertain that possibility. Many wonderful people came into my life, but they were never the exact right person, so I quickly fell back into my old thought patterns. I came to believe it wasn’t possible for me…until it happened.

What was I trying to prove to myself by hanging on to those old beliefs? That I wasn’t worthy of having more in my life? That I wasn’t deserving of happiness, financial stability, or a wonderful relationship? That I wasn’t a failure—and so I did less than I was capable of so I didn’t risk failing?

What are you trying to prove by looking at the negative side of life and discounting the value of what you have to offer?

If you truly believed you should be making more money, then you would be. If you truly believed you could have better relationships with those closest to you, then you would. If you truly believed you deserve peace and happiness, then you would have it.

You made all of the choices that put you exactly where you are today.

So, I have just one question for you: What are you trying to prove to yourself?

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About Joe Serio

Dr. Joe Serio is a keynote speaker, trainer, and author who helps the people in your organization navigate resistance to change so they can move forward successfully.

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