You’ve been making so many judgments from a place of being totally stressed out that you think it’s either normal or out of your control. When you’re clear about your beliefs, values, priorities, and whether you’re
driven by an internal or external locus of control, you’ll have a much better idea how to respond to things that happen around you.
Whether you realize it or not, you get to choose how you respond to each and every event that happens.
Events themselves are value neutral. They just “are.” It’s the way you see events that gives them their meaning. Much of your stress comes from your judgment of events that happen. Much of your stress is driven by what you choose to believe.
And then this stress strongly influences the way you see events and the way you react to them. See how this becomes a never-ending loop?
The basic equation to summarize this is E + R = O, where E is an Event that occurs, R is your Response to the Event, and O is the Outcome you are getting in your life. What Outcomes are you getting? Are you getting the Outcomes you want? Are you living the life you want?
If you want to change the Outcomes, you have to change your Responses.
There is no way around that. Successful people get what they want because they pay close attention to their Responses, because they know their Responses drive their Outcomes.
While there may be several or even numerous factors involved, your Response to the Event may be the only thing in your control, the only thing you can change. You can’t change the Event after it happens. You can’t change other people.
But, you can change the way you look at the Event and you can change how you Respond. That’s it.
Increasing your awareness helps expand the set of responses you have in your toolkit and zap your stress.
When you draw out your Response time, you can formulate a more thoughtful Response rather than reacting instantaneously. You can then improve your Responses.
When you improve your Responses, you improve your Outcomes, and you change your life.